I was just a young man then, no more than 23
I was first mate on the finest merchant ship upon the sea
When old Blackbeard fired upon us until we nearly sank
He said to me, “Come join our crew or else you’ll walk the plank”
I thought of my dear mother then at home and safe on shore
A pirate’s life is not the kind of life she raised me for
So I said with my best manners to old Blackbeard and his crew
“I’ll join your band but understand there are some things I won’t do.”
Now they call me Polite Pete the Pirate
And I sail the seven salty seas
I rob and I loot, I pillage and I plunder
But I always say thank you and please
My hair is long, one eye is gone, my teeth are turning green
I’m the roughest, toughest meanest looking lad you’ve ever seen
Just a single sight of me can make a grown man cry
I’ll steal your gold but truth be told I wouldn’t hurt a fly
Thank you for your gold
May I please have some more
Would you kindly walk the plank for me
And swim yourself to shore
It’s been twenty years now that I’ve lived the pirate’s life
I’ve sent all my riches home to my two kids and my wife
They’re the apple of my one good eye, I see them when I can
We drive around in a solid gold Toyota mini-van
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